For some weeks now, the trend of our discussion has been basically Relationships and it is still ongoing. I have the impression that everything, including relationship has procedures, this is to say that before one can even be with the right one in relationship, one has to go through the process of ‘finding’; withal, this procedure could be more tasking and turbulent than the relationship itself. Today we will have the male point of view as opined by my male counterpart. Do enjoy the discourse and feel free to contribute.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, affirms the bible; but actually, I think the statement should go thus- ‘he who finds a good lady finds a good thing’ because it is a process. First, you find a girlfriend and God so help you, you’re lucky to find the right woman and ‘wife’ her….then you can move up yonder, however, that possibility is next to zero; why must it be so damn hard to find the good one? Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of really great ladies out there, but the finding is hard, you don’t believe me right! Let me break it down, your eyes first does the scouting and then the heart in conjunction with the head makes up its mind. But the truth is that, the heart can ‘sabi’ do anyhow en..lols (sometimes it makes up its mind without consulting the head and thereby putting you in danger), then comes the rigors of wooing which is subject to how beautiful she is and the level of her ‘shakara’. Let’s take a look at some scenario….
You’ve been bestie with this beautiful lady for years, you two understand each other so well and complement each other, some years into the friendship you realize you are in love with her, you fight this realization for a long time because you don’t want to risk losing your friend by telling her you love her…But you know the heart can really push one, so it did push you to telling her, but then she says you two can’t date because she sees you more like a brother and best friend, meanwhile she keeps falling in love with the wrong guys and they keep breaking her heart and you have to be there to console, mend her self esteem and share in the pain……imagine! Isn’t that emotional torture?
Here is another one, you met this girl while you were in high school, she was 3years your junior but you two fell in love or so it seem, some years into the relationship (which of course you are having codedly because you two are probably not allowed to date yet) she is now all grown and in the university, she suddenly finds you boring and changes from the innocent pretty girlfriend to the nagging pretty university girl, when you couldn’t take it any longer, you ended it or she probably did to prove you aren’t good enough any longer.
Onto the next one ‘abi’ (if woman leave you, na woman you go still marry now- all in the name of finding this good thing) this one was quite a beauty but she isn’t contented with dating only you, 98% of the contact and calls she get are all guys which she claims are her friends but they keep calling her at odd hours and she most times fall off radar without a logical explanation as to where she has been, then you realize you have to stop trying with this one and move on, lest you fall victim of a wrong partner.
The next one was a control freak, she wants to know where you are at per seconds billing, what you are doing and why you are doing it. She dares not hear a female voice when she calls you (even if na your grandma) you’re doomed, when she sends you text, you have to do sign of the cross like the Catholics before you read it. When has hearing from one’s partner translated to fidgeting? That’s high blood pressure on the way now.
In all this scenarios, the man still had to compete with numerous guys before the babes gree oooo and afterwards maintain the relationship emotionally, physically and financially all in the name of finding good thing but this doesn’t go without saying that GUYS too can’t be mean oh, but that a story for another day. For now, our ladies should checkmate themselves and make finding easy.
Watch out for the female grievances as regard relationship next week!